I can text with my tongue
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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