covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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