Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
