Do you still have your period?
only if we run a train.
done.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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