i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I died a long time ago.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
