he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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