MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
