you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am puke
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just invented taco cereal.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
