If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
