is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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