Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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