we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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