At least make sure they are 18
Why
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
