She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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