we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize