You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
