The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think people are normalizing furries
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
