took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize