READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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