try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
