Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
