she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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