Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize