if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
