she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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