Whats the glycemic index on semen?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
