the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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