so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
