Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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