I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
