I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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