im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
