I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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