I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
