Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
