life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
