i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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