Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
