I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
