i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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