He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
