Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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