I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you had me at cake vodka
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
