I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize