i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
