I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
