I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Are we still banned from the library?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize