chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How naked do you want me to be?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
