There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
