Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
