Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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