i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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