i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
