So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wish you could order shots online.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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