I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize