i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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