We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I looked at my own cervix.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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