My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
