my sisters under your porch take her home
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
is that a dick in a sweater?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
