this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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