Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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