No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
