he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
