If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
