he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
