he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Will exercising make me less horny?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
