So drunk its hurt
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
