My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize