I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The adults are the big ones right?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
