we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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