Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The air was thick with penises
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
