Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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