Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize