I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize