butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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