you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
