he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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