somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
